It’s the day after Thanksgiving, which means Christmas isn’t beginning in Oklahoma; it started on Oct. 1
So on this 28th of November, Year of Our Lord 2025, Statesman is proud and fully caffeinated enough to say: Merry Christmas, Oklahoma. Again. Already. Still.
Everywhere you look, the season hits you in the face. The Broken Arrow Expressway is backed up like John Mateer on third down, horns are blaring, and someone is blasting “Jingle Bell Rock” like they’re trying to summon the ghost of Leon Russell.
Nothing says holiday cheer like high-speed roulette.
At major Tulsa and Oklahoma City intersections, the able-bodied panhandlers are already on duty, weaving between cars with choreography tight enough to earn a spot in the Christmas parade.
They’re outpacing the workforce and somehow managing to vanish the moment a job offer rolls up.
It’s performance art at this point.
Meanwhile, Baltimore-based Channel 8 is breathlessly “covering Tulsa” from a bunker in OKC.
Nothing screams “hyper local news” quite like reporting on a city from 100 miles away.
And then there’s the shopping situation. Woodland Hills Mall currently resembles a live simulation of societal collapse, as does Penn Square Mall.
All Target locations statewide are running on pure chaos.
And Braum’s? Braum’s is here for all of it with that signature eggnog.
But the real center of gravity – the moment Christmas feels real – is Rhema.
Families will soon pour in like it’s a pilgrimage. Teenagers will vape and curse, and complaints will be made.
Moving on.
From Coweta to Moore, a Christmas light arms race is underway. Rooflines are glowing like a runway at Will Rogers World Airport.
Front yards look like Clark Griswold and company found that breaker.
Every neighborhood Facebook group will soon see arguments about stolen inflatables, barking dogs, sonic booms, and a strange van (probably driven by the Wet/Sticky Bandits).
Here at Statesman HQ, we’re waiting for our annual wrapped socks under the tree. And we’re trying earnestly, sincerely to figure out how Texas and Texas A&M can both lose this weekend while playing one another.
There may not be a mathematical path, but spiritually, morally, universally, we believe in the possibility.
That game makes us miss Bedlam, which will not be played this weekend for a second consecutive year – if ever again.
Anyways, here it is, loud and clear:
Merry Christmas, Oklahoma.
Statesman